Subject: Stimulus Package
It's so good to be informed!
"Sometime this year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain usingthe Q and A format:
"Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
"A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
"Q. Where will the government get this money?
"A. From taxpayers.
"Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
"A. No, they are borrowing it from China. Your children areexpected to repay the Chinese.
"Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
"A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase ahigh-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
"Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
"A. Shut up."
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:
If you spend money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China.
If you spend it on gasoline, it will go to Hugo Chavez, the Arabs and Al Queda.
If you purchase a computer, it will go to Taiwan.
If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico,Honduras, and Guatemala (unless you buy organic).
If you buy a car, it will go to Japan and Korea.
If you purchase prescription drugs, it will go to India.
If you purchase heroin, it will go to the Taliban in Afghanistan.
If you give it to a charitable cause, it will go to Nigeria.
And none of it will help the American economy.
We need to keep that money here in America. You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or spend it on prostitutes, beer (domestic ONLY), or tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the US.
My response to this was:
Well, that's kind of interesting.
I remember the presidential campaign, which went on for at least 7 years, and Obama mentioned that there should be a redistribution of wealth. That night on the news I heard him referred to as a Marxist, when clearly what he meant was that the problem with the economic crisis lies in the fact that about 3,000,000 people in America control over 90% of the available assets and the population of 240,000,000 is suffering because of it.
Beautiful words are not always truthful, and truthful words are not always beautiful.
The enemies to our economy are not the Indians, Chinese, or the Nigerians. The enemy is us. We have sat quietly as our 'free-market" society allowed the development of a Caste system through the people that are supposed to represent us. Thomas Jefferson, in his insightful way, made sure to address this problem in the constitution and Bill of Rights and warned that if our representation starts to resemble royalty we should take the route that he and the patriots of the 18th century took. His foresight was so acute that he warned Americans to be rebelious when faced with entitled leaders and self-serving politicians. Thomas Jefferson was a tough, smart little sonofabitch and he knew about the old axiom that power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.
He obviously didn't realize that there was going to be a future where there is no safety in numbers, especially when the numbers collude to enrich themselves at the expense of the people that Mr. Jefferson cared the most about.
We have a broken system. We have a national delusion that things will work out. We are intellectually bankrupt because we have been spoon-fed the idea that the pricks in Washington work for us.
My kids are smarter than me in many ways, but he most important way is that they see the hopelessness that their futures hold because our generation mismanaged it for them. We made sure they had food and clothes and a place to live, we surrounded them with love and safety, but failed to secure a future that included the classic American Dream. They heard the stories about the 60's, they know about the Viet Nam conflict, they saw us struggle to make lives for ourselves and ultimately for them, But, they never saw us, the baby boom generation, do anything harder than go to work and come home with a smile on our faces. They didn't see us rebel against a machine that runs humanity and enslaves the very people that think they are free.
I don't know if I'd call the email you sent me ironic, sarcastic, realistic, idiotic, or genius.
The truths that face us each day are filled with pathos and sadness, and not one of us are willing to do the heavy lifting that needs to be done. When Abbie Hoffman called for the overthrow of the system he was called a radical. When Thomas Jefferson engineered the overthrow of the system he was called a patriot.
When John Kennedy was in the White House he hosted a group of Nobel Prize winners. I think there were around 50 of them and they were all jammed in a dining room. Kennedy greeted them with this comment: "Never has there been this much genius gathered in this dining room since the days when Thomas Jefferson ate here alone."
Let's not sweat the small stuff and let the big stuff steamroll us any further into the future than it already has. We need to do the job and get our country back, or stop our bitching and accept the screwing that we get from the elitist representation that has been the norm since the 1940's. I don't know if it means telling the Federal Government to stick their $300 check up their asses (I paid my gas bill with mine), or refusing to participate in elections that are based on how much money a candidate can raise, or whether your name is Kennedy (you can't spell Kennedy without KY). Take aim on something that means something big in your life and don't let the bastards stop you, even if it means experiencing some discomfort, which it inevitably will. That's the only way to get back to what we all believe this country was and can be.
Otherwise, these emails are all we have. Cyber revolution, which, if it's anything like cyber-sex, is not very satisfying to anyone.
The fly in the ointment,
Vince
Later, I looked at the line items in the email and this was my conclusion:
If you spend money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China.
(It will also employ a lot of unempoyable Americans who work for an American Corporation, possibly an evil one, but American nonetheless.)
If you spend it on gasoline, it will go to Hugo Chavez, the Arabs and Al Queda.
(The American distributors are dominating in the refined gasoline market. Exxon-Mobile is an American corporation, BP is a multi-national corporation and they employ many Americans)
If you purchase a computer, it will go to Taiwan.
(Dell, HP, Asustec, and all the people that we buy our computers from are American businesses that buy the manufacturing services from countries that still manufacture stuff. Ancillary businesses, like Ogilvy and Mather [an American advertising agency], Best Buy [an American retail giant], and all of the American media oulets employ thousands of our citizens. The biggest profit margin continues to be at the distribution level, followed closely by the retail level.]
If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico,Honduras, and Guatemala (unless you buy organic).
(Simplot, a corporation based in Idaho, is still the world's largest producer of potatoes. They have been MacDonald's sole supplier of potatoes since the 1960's and if you imagine a flow chart starting with the field hands, and ending with the guy that asks, "Do you want fries with that?", you have a long line of employed Americans.)
If you buy a car, it will go to Japan and Korea.
(Unless you buy a Chevy, Ford, or GM product, or one of the many Toyota or Honda or Nissan vehicles that are assembled in plants in Tennessee, California, Ohio and other American states and contribute to the economies of those states, and in turn to the national economy.)
If you purchase prescription drugs, it will go to India.
(Pfizer is an American corporation. I found this example to be the most laughable because the American pharmaceutical lobby is among the top 3 lobbying groups in our country. The lion's share of prescrition drug expenditure is spent on research and development, and the lion's share of R&D is done in America.)
If you purchase heroin, it will go to the Taliban in Afghanistan.
(If you purchase heroin you are contributing to a global underground economy that is not going to contribute to "Main Street." In fact, it will turn Main Street into a ghetto. What are you thinking with this example?)
If you give it to a charitable cause, it will go to Nigeria.
(The American Red Cross has a presence in almost every corner of the world. Without them New Orleans would have been a bigger catastrophe, if that's possible, than it was. How about The United Way? How about your local church that has local community programs that make a direct difference in American people's lives?)
And none of it will help the American economy.
This was written by a moron that is typical of the type of person that believes that if you read it on the internet, it must be true. If you send it to all the lame assholes in your address book you are making a difference to the masses of people that are already cynical and suseptible to crackpot ideas and looking for guidance in their shattered lives. As I stated earlier, we are all the problem, but these internet authors are especially culpable for preying on the emotions of hate and pettiness that keeps us from thinking about the real culprits.
The degenrate gamblers that our representatives chose to bail out are counting on people like the author of this email. I can only compare this sort of missive to a dog watching television, occasionally he'll see another dog and that will hold his interest as long as the other dog is on screen, but don't expect him to understand the plot.
And that's why I hate email.
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