Nancy Grace

Why is Nacy Grace on television?

It's no secret that I like to look at the television. It's also no secret that I sometimes watch things with the sole purpose in mind that I want to be irritated.

That's why I watch Chris Matthews, The Cubs, Henry Fonda movies, The Food Channel, Fox News, Wolfe Blitzer, House, Larry King Live (they had to add the "Live" into the title of his show so that people would stop assuming that he was a cadaver with a bellows up his ass to make it look like he's breathing.), Steve Wilkos, Andy Rooney, Dan Jiggets, Pat Buchanan, Jackie Mason, Dog the Bounty Hunter, Friends, Judge Judy, the perky girl in the Progressive Insurance commercials, infomercials (except for the ones with the guy who dresses like Zorro and plays horrible guitar, I like him), Dirty Jobs, Tom Skilling, and Will Smith.

But, why is Nancy Grace on television?

She asks questions and never accepts the answers she gets. Her makeup is obviously applied with masonry trowels, she has a hybrid accent that makes her sound like she grew up in Southern Ohio (I hate Southern Ohio), and she is a redneck with a static hit list. She is an expert on such important subjects as Natalee Holloway (who was thrown in the ocean on the windward side of Aruba, which is infested with Tiger Sharks. Period. That's it, and that's all. I feel bad for her paerents, who I also hate, but she probably wasn't murdered. She died while fornicating in a drunken, drug addled stupor and was thrown into the violent shark infested waters.), John Travolta, O. J. Simpson, Anna Nicole Smith, and lots of other subjects that none of us care about and she delivers her worthless opinions with all the importance of someone who owns a potato that looks just like Richard Nixon.

Her bio is that she, while in college, changed her major to law after her boyfriend was a murder victim in Georgia, but I don't believe it. I think her boyfriend was afraid to break up with her and took his own life and made it look like a murder.

I find it hard to believe that she is still on TV. I guess the douche-bags that wear the suits at CNN Headline News are afraid of her too, and at this minute are trying to fake their own murders. If they're smart, that is.